Be responsible and feel free

Victims are mental prisoners

Today, I am writing about responsibility and commitment. I values these assets as solid fundament to build a life in contentment and abundance on.

I have seen both sides, my life before I took my chances and the time after committing myself. I do not want to go back to my old lifestyle, rather I would like to carry on conceiving my future – led by a sense of responsibility for me and my children alike. I feel that there is no way around taking the full responsibility for your life, if you want to be a genuinely grown-up person. You have to face it all and you must live with the consequences of your actions.

Doesn’t this sound familiar to you? Your parents failed putting you in the right school. You blame our teachers for bad marks and subsequently a bad report. My employer failed at enabling my to live to my full potential. Not to speak about the low wage. You certainly deserve more.

It’s society’s fault that I’m *four-letter worded*, no to say the leaders and politics are to be blamed.

Left in the dark

I think that ceding responsibility in the aforementioned manner happens subconsciously. We imitate our role models and stick to the acquired patterns by habituation. Only in this way, a childhood without hassle is possible, if there are parents who are answerable for the needs of their children.

But when coming of age, the situation should change. I had to settle for a family my own and see 4 decades of life to realise this.

In order to become indepedent, I had to loosen the bonds with my parents. And there is no way around it. But, anyhow, I don’t mean to turn your back on your mum and dad and pretend not to know them anymore. I mean that you should reconcile with your parents and establish a genuine and sincere relationship with them. Unfortunately there are people who fail to do so before they die. And on biting the dust, they grieve over their lives, realising they did not live a life of their own but tried to please others.

All this can slip into your life when you don’t heed your needs, subduing yourself to the values and principles of others. Or if we choose a career, because our parents think it to be important to do something „sensible“ instead following your heart’s desire, that is, if we obey our fears rather than taking the chances that lie before us.

If we take responsibility, we are able to to reconsider old, I mean, wrong decisions with newly gained insights. We can change our job, we can become freelancers or start pursuing our dreams.

Or we stick with what we know and change nothing. It is no use moaning about your awful job or blaming your parents for your own career. We complain, become bitter, waiting for miracles that change the world.

This would be like sitting at a bus stop and complaining that no trains are coming.

Substitute conflicts

From my own experience I can conclude that the process of detachment from your parents is crucial to act on your own account. If we neglect this important step with our parents, our parents will be replaced as peers for a conflict by our disciplinarians, partners or any other kind of social environment. The patterns are always the same: It’s the others’ blame that I can’t live in the way I deserve.

I see such conflicts arise most likely in relationship problems. Indeed, I went through all of this in a chrome-class marital crisis. Having understood that these disputes are substitutes for unresolved conflicts with my mother, I realised that breaking up would get me nowhere. There’d be no distinct benefit from doing so, it would only destroy my family. Instead of running away, I rather should resolve the issue.

I ultimately believe that changing your partner won’t solve issues in a relationship. In this case, we tend to cede the responsability to our partner and take the role of a victim. And when we meet the next partner, we will run in the same things again. Maybe they will have a slightly different shape, but once the hormones calm down, the old issued will be conjured up again.

This pattern is going to remain repetitive until we work on the core problems and finally do away with them.

This, ultimately, is sovereign and mature behaviour, worthy of an adult, grown-up person.

The strife and hassle we encounter in life are, according to the Kopfrichter principles, connected with the Three Pillars: Self-awareness, self-confidence and self-esteem. These three elements help us to strengthen our personality and thus reduce the impact of others on us.

If you are in touch with yourself, it is much more easy to take responsibility.

See you soon on our page,

One Reply to “Be responsible and feel free”

  1. Hi Christian,
    Thank’s for sharing your thoughts with us, these are wise words.
    I like the phrase “This would be like sitting at a bus stop and complaining that no trains are coming.”, this is so true…
    I’m curious to read more 🙂
    Greetings from Belgium,


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